Saturday, June 12, 2010

Inner Fat Girl Speaks Out

So I received many comments about my post last week about my self-declared inner fat girl.  One that I absolutely loved was from a good friend of mine that lives out of state.  Here is her message to me.  It helped me and I think my blog readers may also be able to relate to her thoughts:

This is totally in response to your "inner fat girl" blog post, but I wasn't sure I should post it on the comment board. It really helped me, and if you can be open minded about it, I think it actually helps in general.

It's not about reminding yourself that you've lost weight, because that's obvious to you. It's about being comfortable with how you look now, how you'll look when you lose more (if that's your goal) and how you'll look if you gain a few back (if that happens.) I know this sounds weird (and will make you question my home life probably) but walk around your house naked any chance you get. Do the normal things you do at home but naked, sleep naked, get your coffee in the morning naked, eat breakfast naked (if you are not spill prone, otherwise, maybe not the best idea) walk by your mirrors and linger focusing on the things you like, not the things you want to change (we focus on those enough.) I lost like 80lbs in college (most of which I've gained back now over the years and with the baby) but I still insisted on calling myself fat and being uncomfortable in swimsuits and tank tops. Forcing myself to be comfortable completely in my own skin in my own space made it easier to be comfortable not completely exposed (but more than I was used to) in less familiar places. I've found that this has also helped me a lot with this pregnancy thing, because my body is definitely changing in ways I had no idea it would, and for someone who used to be really heavy, I can say it is REALLY hard to deal with sometimes.

Also -- Don't beat up the girl you see in the college pictures and videos too badly. She's still the same person you're looking at now, but now she's just shinier, polished, and figuring out what she wants and what's important. You need the old her so you don't lose the new her if this is the "her" you want to keep for a while. (sorry if that sounded preachy, but I found beating myself up for how I used to look was equally as harmful as ripping down the improved version.)

Sorry if this makes you think I'm crazy. I am crazy, but that's beside the point. If you give it a shot, I hope it helps. If not, no harm :)

PS I just wanted to say, I'm really proud of you and what you're doing and how you're accomplishing milestones and goals. It's really very awesome, Beth, and I know you know that, but I wanted to tell you anyway.

Thanks J!  You are a great friend!  I love your thoughts and good luck with the baby in a couple of weeks!

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